C.A.T.S. Operatives

SIGN

“We don’t know a lot about the C.A.T.S. operatives, what we do know is that their name stands for Containment Assessment Tracking Storage, that they frequently act as consultants for law enforcement and the military and and that their mysterious and sinister nature is offset by the high tech, vaguely kitty-like helmets they wear.” – Brian Foster

Cherub

“The first time I saw one of them was during the Gift Card Incident of 2007. The perps had been operating out of an abandoned office supply store in Ruskin, Alabama. It had taken a lot of patience, cunning and faux Rite Aid Gift Cards to get all the members of the gang together in the same place at the same time but my team and I had done it. The place was surrounded and the local authorities were standing by. I gave the world and my team charged in to find they were all dead. It had been a group suicide, they had all gorged themselves of mail order beef jerky and washed it down with cyanide-laced off brand energy drinks. A trio of armed C.A.T.S. operatives were walking among the bodies, their faces hidden behind those bizarre space cat helmets they wore. Naturally we tried to arrest them but they had a court order and special dispensation from the assistant attorney general. While we did the cleanup they went around confiscating all the gift cards for Emblazon Unlimited products and cases of dried squid extract.” – Atwater

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“Each of those four unlucky drivers called the 911 to report what had happened, and in one case to call for an ambulance. Despite each of them reporting a quick and efficient conversation with an operator there is no record or recording of any of those calls ever reaching the emergency services central dispatchers. And as for the folks that needed an ambulance? They’re perfectly fine, but they don’t remember ever making a 911 call, or an accident, or the entire day at all for that matter. All they remember is… cats.” – Brian Foster

MONITOR ONE

“Hello again Brian. I am sure you never expected me to contact you again… I know I didn’t. The thing is that I’ve been having these flashes of memory- or something like memories. I think perhaps we did have the Ana Harrani Sa Alaktasa La Tarat in our possession. I am sure I held it now, and read from it. I’m also sure that I invoked the Myers Protocol and the book was taken from the library’s possession. But Brian, I know this is going to sound insane, but I’m pretty sure the book was confiscated by cats. You know what? Maybe we should talk about this in person.” -Jasper Moradi

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The Mire of Nix

MIreofNix

“It was a place where the only illumination was like the the light from the sun filtered down through the depths of the sea, it was a place where the water was thick and the trees were bent and wounded. There are things that live there, stunted figures with skin like old scabs that sang at the feet of a faceless priest.”-Brian Foster

“O’er the midnight moorlands crying.
Thro’ the cypress forests sighing.
In the night-wind madly flying.
Hellish forms with streaming hair;
In the barren branches creaking.
By the stagnant swamp-pools speaking.
Past the shore-cliffs ever shrieking,
Damn’d demons of despair.”-‘Despair’ by HP Lovecraft

Osrick Langhorne

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“Objective vs Subjective is a false dichotomy. There is no subjective reality, only imperfect memories of objective experiences. The belief in the subjective is the height of hubris. The reason we accept this as “subjective” is because we think we are real, we think we are important. And we are “real”, but just not very real. We do have free will, but compared to the higher beings in the universe, we have as much free will as your average peanut…” -From the lecture notes of Osrick Langhorne

“…I quit college and began searching for a mentor, a mentor wise in the ways of the supernatural but also within driving distance of my house. And after making my way through a long roster of charlatans and lunatics I met Osrick Langhorne.”-Brian Foster blog entry #13712041

“The frontal lobe, a wondrous addition to the self-replicating physical object known as a nervous system. A handful of neurons that give us the ability to do one thing, it looks for patterns, then makes rules. If X then Y. If not Y, then Z. These rules cover almost everything we do. If you think of your mind as a computer, these rules are just subroutines. We are nothing but triggered cascading subroutines. Except for the frontal lobe. That little glob of protein and lipids gives us a unique power among the natives of this world. The power to turn on a subroutine, and the power to turn them off. That’s the extent of our free will…”-From the lecture notes of Osrick Langhorne

“Osrick Langhorne was a part time mystic and a full time Mark Twain impersonator. He spent his days reciting ‘The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County’ for bored grade schoolers, which paid for his nights exploring the boundaries of reality. I, for one, can’t imagine which occupation would drive a person to madness sooner.”-Brian Foster blog entry #13712041

“There is a difference between you and animals. We have memes. Our thoughts, our daydreams, our beliefs, the stronger we think, the stronger we feel, the more memes we create. Memes exist without us. You do not understand their true nature. How thoughts can take on a life of their own. They can exist without us. Most of the time we just give off random memes that just flit about and are consumed by stronger memes. If you are starting to get the bigger picture, You are quite right. In the grand circle of memetic ecology, we… are the algae. Now imagine that you were swimming in the ocean one afternoon and some clump of algae started talking to you. This is their perspective. Boggling. Unexpected. And potentially dangerous. Tell me, would you want all the algae in the world to become self aware? Would you want algae talking about oppression and algae rights? The world’s ecosystem is built on algae. Memetic Ecology is built on humans…”-From the lecture notes of Osrick Langhorne

“…together we hunted down a vampire, gathered a sizable amount of Goatman scat for testing and even staged a raid on the Library of Alex Chandrea that ended with us stealing a copy of the legendary De Geheime Leer Van De Uitgang. Unfortunately that book was the beginning of the end. We thought we were prepared but the Mire of Nix made short work of us…” -Brian Foster blog entry #13712041

“I haven’t talked much about THEM, because you needed to understand what we are first. THEY do not have senses. THEY do not see, or smell, or hear. THEY just know truth. THEY do not need senses to gather information that is interpreted, subjectively, in their minds. THEY just know objective truth. THEY just know what objective reality IS. No wonder we appear as algae to THEM.”-From the lecture notes of Osrick Langhorne

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