Detective Phillip Bradshaw


“At first sight you won’t be impressed. Would you buy a used car from this man? Fuck no. He’s just some slight guy in a wide coat, with a sharp nose and capped teeth.  You might even want to chuckle at his gruff,’ I wanna talk to your manager’ style of speech but don’t do it. Take a second glace in those beady eyes and you’ll realize that this is man that’s taken lives on more than one occasion, taken lives and not felt one moment of guilt over it. About then he’ll flash his badge, introduce himself as Police Detective Bradshaw and God help you if he thinks you’ve been up to something. Or if he doesn’t like you. Or if it’s a standard Tuesday. Have your cell phone set to record, your lawyer set to speed dial and whatever you do don’t tell him you know me.” –Brian Foster

“Foster’s gonna stay in holding until I find out if he had anything to do with the fire over at Keller & Sons. Yeah, where we found those bodies. You’re damn right we find a lot of bodies when Foster is around. Did I ever tell you how I first ran into the little bastard? It was about four years ago, back when all those people ended up sick or dead in downtown Albany. Everyone was freaking out thinking it was some kind of a biohazard or chemical attack. The FBI and Homeland Security were crawling over every crime scene, and who had to deal with them? Me. One day he shows up at my desk, Mister Night Blogger himself. He says he has information for me. So, of course I have to listen to what he’s got to say even though the whole damn city knew about his nutty theories. That was back when they were still printing his blog posts in Metroland, all this crap about ghosts, vampires and psychic volcanoes. Now he tells me that these attacks weren’t the work of terrorists or an isolated nutjob. He said it had something to do with the new exhibit at the Albany Museum of Art and History….” -Detective Phillip Bradshaw (surreptitious recording)

“It goes without saying that men like Philip Bradshaw are few and far between but I will say it anyway. His dedication has led to the arrest and imprisonment of so many career criminals that his work has been cited by the FBI and Homeland security. Even though he has been wounded four times in the call of duty he likes to joke that he has almost never met a man he didn’t like. So now it is with great honor that I present him with the highest award the Albany Police Department can give the Medal of Valor.”-New York Governor George G. Tyrebiter

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